Well, I fulfilled the first half. Call in sick.

However, I really AM sick. With a stinkin' headcold no less.

Thus making it impossible for me to be a bum today.
If it's any consolation, I'm wearing dreary colours, taking drugs, wheezing,
complaining and don't have any money or transportation. Bum-ish.
But seeing as this only an "ish", I 'm going to go for another.
Task two. Call in sick and be a bum for a day.
DONE-ish.